Counselling in London or online
Siobhan Toner offering individual one-to-one therapy in London or online
This is a great video explaining attachment theory and the sort of issues that can come from childhood.
Its useful for adults, both as parents but also as part of our own self reflection. If we can understand our own attachment styles and why they were formed it can help us explore the issues we have in the present.
Unfortunately a few acts of extremist violence have taken place recently. I have been thinking about the response to those events in the general public. The sort of comments I read on social media and how whole communities are being tarred by the behaviour of the few.
However I can’t help but also think about the other acts of violence that occur on a daily basis and don’t get attention. Where is the outrage for those victims?
I am talking about domestic violence, perpetrated most often (but not exclusively) by men.
How many people share posts on Facebook condemning this and calling for their community to do more to stop it?
According to this article during the 6 years to the end of 2016, in only England and Wales, more than 900 women were murdered. That is 150 victim per yearin these two countries alone. How high is the number across the world?
On this website I found these truly horrific estimates for that
An analysis of a United Nations global crime study has revealed that an estimated 43,600 women are killed every year by an intimate partner or family member. This is the equivalent to five women every hour or one woman every 12 minutes.
And this is just the estimated death toll. What about those that aren’t killed. How many are being physically and emotionally abused on a daily basis? How many children are witness to it and also being traumatised.
Compared these numbers with those killed in terrorist incidents in the UK and in Europe in this article.
Over the last 10 years there have been 1.4 deaths per year in the UK due to terrorism
Yet there have been 150 women per year killed in England and Wales alone by current or former partners.
How do you feel about these figures? Are you shocked, or all too familiar through personal experience of how widespread domestic violence is? Please get in touch if you need support for your own situation.
I have done some training with this organisation; they are a great resource in supporting children and young people who hear voices and they have useful resources for adults who are unsure what to do.
When we talk about violence we don’t always think about what men experience.This article demonstrates clearly how rape is about violence, not sex. Gender is no barrier and male rape happens more that people realise.
Ex-school governor who imported child sex doll is jailed
This case really brings home to me how pervasive child abuse is and the ingenuity of the perpetrators.
It has no limits in terms of social economic class and position. Yet there is still I feel a belief amongst some people that it wouldn’t happen in their society or peer group.
In some of the reporting on the allegations against Ted Heath (former PM) one of his friends was quoted as saying something like “I knew him for 50 years and didn’t get a hint of anything like this”. But isn’t that the point! Why would you get a hint if you aren’t part of it?
Abusers are skilled and able manipulator who can hide their crimes from all around them. To assume because you didn’t know about it, then it can’t be true is nonsense.
Abusers do not all fit a stereotype, nor do their victims. Sadly, though by the time the victims do report the damage that has been done to them can make them less credible as witnesses and their lifestyle gets used against them.
I was at a conference a couple of weeks ago which was on trauma and adversity in childhood. Not all relating to abuse admittedly but a great deal of traumatic events children and young people experience are from some sort of abuse. There was a snip-it of info that shocked me, if the adverse experiences were addressed when the victims were young it is estimated that the prison population would be halved and the mental healthcare system would also see a huge reduction in diagnosis.
So when the people do finally disclose what they have suffered why is there a section of the media and our communities so quick to judge them as unreliable?
It’s time to help them find some healing, not re-traumatise them by attacking them again.
